Tuesday, October 29, 2013

5 months!

This little cutie is 5 months old now. He is doing great. He has been smiling and cooing for about six weeks. I love it.

He pulls some of the funniest faces and his little personality comes out more everyday.

He is getting super chubby. He is now over 11 pounds and 25 inches tall. We love it! He eats like a champ. He will get to start on solid food next month so we are working pretty hard on head control.

I have been thinking a lot about the NICU lately. Having my baby in the hospital is the most difficult thing I have gone through. But, I came through it. Most days while Calvin was in the NICU I couldn't imagine getting through. It was too far of a stretch for me to think about my tiny and sick little baby playing on my living room floor and smiling up at me.
I laugh at that now. The NICU really does become memory. I can't even say it is a completely bad memory. It often still brings me to tears to think about Calvin laying in his isolet, attached to wires and tubes. I think my heart still speeds up ever so slightly when I think about Brady episodes, and the morning I walked in to see my tiny sweet boy in septic shock will be etched in my brain forever.
But, I met some amazing people. I miss those nurses a lot. They were not just Calvin's nurses, they were (many times) my emotional support and lifeline. They became my friends. I realized just how amazing family is as Dave and my families took care of everything they possibly could for us. I already had so much gratitude for my amazing husband, but I never knew how much I could love him and need him. I truly understand the quote "I never knew how much I could love your father until I saw how much he loves you." I saw how selfless people are as we were on the receiving end of so much service, love, and prayer. I became eternally grateful for the priesthood and the fact that Dave's holds and blesses our family with it. Most of all I have learned to rely on God for anything and everything. He truly carried us through. So if I could go back and change things would I do it over again? No way! I would much rather just stay pregnant, take home my sweet little newborn at two days old, and remain blissfully ignorant of this NICU world. But I have been forever humbled and changed. For that I am grateful.

My cousin is currently in the hospital with her sweet baby girl, who is very sick. And, a family in our ward had their baby much too early this last week. Please pray for these two families and their babies. We now how miraculously powerful prayers can be. Thank you all.
Posted by Brianna

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